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Today I am thankful for my children.
We were making placemats for Thanksgiving dinner today, and Little Man had a blast coloring his “tar-key”. I asked him over and over and OVER what he was coloring just to hear him say turkey. He has the perfect southern accent when he says it. “Tar-key, tar-key, taaaarrrr-kkeeyy”
Right now, he has two throw pillows on his back and he is saying “I a butterfly”. He has an outrageous imagination. I could spend hours just watching him play with his toys and listening to him talk to them as he guides them thru their action sequence.
Little Miracle has an infectious laugh. He does not laugh too often, but when he does, the whole room lights up. He is trying so hard to walk but gets over excited and his feet can’t keep up with his mind. When I go to nurse him, he breathes fast in excitement. It’s so freaking cute.
I love my children so much. They are the light of my life. The reason I get out of bed in the morning. Yes, there are days when I want to shut them in their rooms and lock the doors and run away, but what mom doesn’t have those days? I am thankful for my babies and can not wait to see what they grow up to be.
(My bets ~ right now? Little Man will be my basketball, baseball or football player. He will be smart, but have to work hard for it. Little Miracle will be my genius. He will be tall and skinny and be somewhat of a nerd because he will be too smart for his own good)
What are you thankful for?
Today I am over thankful for my mother.
When we lived in south Georgia, I only got to see her a handful of times a year. She missed seeing a lot of Little Man's milestones and basic growing up.
Now we live 4 miles from her.
I am beyond grateful for her.
Today I was tasked with grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. We had no plans for Thanksgiving until yesterday when my mother-in-law decided that she wanted someone to cook. Not that I mind, but I was volunteered to cook.
I called my mom and asked if she could tag along (read help me with the kids) with the grocery shopping. She is always more that willing to help me out.
Her help in the grocery store today was ... invaluable. Little Miracle was happily strapped to my chest but Little Man, becoming fiercely independent wanted to walk by himself. This lasted for a few aisles. Then he got bored and wanted to run around and play. The final straw was when he climbed into the toilet paper display and disappeared. Into the cart he went.
Little Man was either trying to get out of the cart or was trying to throw everything outside of the cart. This is where my mom is genius. My mom showed him how to stack the cans and boxes and then do what every little boy loves to do, knock them down. When that got old, she showed him how to put the brown sugar under his shirt and be Santa Clause. All from the cart. This amused him long enough for me to finish shopping and get out of the store.
When we were done with grocery shopping and finally home, she fed Little Miracle for me while I unloaded groceries, she forced me to eat lunch since I was about to skip it and she watched a movie with Little Man when he decided to skip his nap.
After Little Miracle napped we headed back out for more errands. She makes running errands with two small children so much easier. She will sit in the car while I run in and get what I need. Granted, she will do this for the short stops, if it is a longer stop, we all go in. When I get back to the car, Little Man tells me about the games they played when I was gone.
Tonight we even went over to her house while I was waiting on Stephen to get off of work. She got down on the floor and played with trains and cars and Little Man. She held Little Miracle trying to calm him down while I was working on a hair bow.
She is truly priceless to me. Today would have been a disaster if I had not had her help. I only wish I could find the words to show just how grateful I am for her. I am so glad we are living close to her again. I missed her!
You know what drives me crazy? What makes me want to pull out my hair?
When someone, while talking to a child, says something like “look at that doggy” or “see the horsey?”
Doggy? Horsey? Fishy? (ok, I know fishy is a word, when used in “that smells fishy” but not “look at the fishy”)
Are those even English words? When was the last time you were out buying dog food and said “Hey Ed, I need doggy food”? Or do you say “lets go ride the horsey” when you are with adults?
Baby talk. Drives. Me. CRAZY.
Do you know why this drives me crazy?
A child learns best by watching what goes on around them, and copying behavior. If I am going to teach a child to speak, I would like to teach them the correct words. I wonder how many kindergarten teachers have to correct this pattern. I cringe when I hear a 6 year old talking about doggies.
So next time you are talking to children, please watch your words, and don’t baby down the talk. Talk to children like you would an adult.
Little Man is super excited for Christmas this year! He has seen Santa at the mall twice and reminds me daily what he wants!
Dinosaur Train toys
Toy Story toys
And trains.
Such a simple boy. I love it!
Can you all please say a prayer for my sister in law? She broke her hip yesterday and is in ICU because her blood pressure is super low. They can't give her pain medicine because her pressure is too low. Thanks!!
I’m staring at the blinking curser on my screen and nothing is coming to mind. I had a billion ideas when I decided to do NaBloPoMo and most of them I just don’t feel like writing about right now. I can’t seem to get focused on my blog this month. I guess my brain has been everywhere else but here.
I did really well for the first few weeks, but this last week has been tough. I have posts in my head about politics, food, my babies… but my fingers just don’t want to work with my brain and get them down on paper, er... the computer. Especially the politics one. I have started writing it a billion times, and I end up deleting the entire thing. I have different opinions on most political subjects and I know I will end up pissing off some people because of my views, and I just don’t feel like pissing off more people in my life right now.
Hopefully I can snap out of my writers block in the next few days and get back to posting great posts. Heck, I may even bite the bullet and write the political one. But for now, my spring cleaning continues and my laundry is calling.
Phew.
Half way thru the month and so far, I am keeping up.
I am quickly running out of ideas though.
And time.
My boys have decided to take on opposite nap schedules. When one is getting up, the other is going down. Doesn't allow me to get much done but it does allow me to spend quality one on one time with each of my boys.
And I love getting that!
Little Miracle just nursed to sleep, and I hear Little Man getting up, time to get back to work!
Last night we went to our churches small group. Our lesson Sunday was on “Hoarders” and what we hold onto. I did not get to listen to the message because Little Miracle was fussing, but we discussed it last night. What we are holding onto in our lives. Be it physical or emotional.
Many of you know, I am slightly OCD when it comes to clutter and my house. I like my house to be clutter free, clean, neat and organized.
Lately I have felt like my life was falling apart. Stephen was working 12 hour days, my kids were not listening, and I felt like sleeping all day. Needless to say, my house suffered. Laundry piled up, diapers needed to be washed, the dust was inches thick on the cabinets and toys were scattered about the entire house.
I woke up this morning and was tired of the mess. I had the urge to spring clean. To throw it all away. To get everything back in order.
I cleaned out the laundry room which had become my catch all for the junk in my life. Then I swept the floor, vacuumed, dusted, did some laundry. It feels nice to clean. I still have a lot of cleaning to do to feel completed, but it will take a few days. Closets need to be purged and the fridge needs to be scrubbed.
Stephen is back to working less hours (for now) and I am slowly feeling like myself again. My house needs to get back in order and I think everything will be OK again around here.
I am feeling anew again, and it feels so good.
How does Santa know which kids are good or which kids are bad?
At our house, we have George. George is an elf that was delivered by Santa. He sits on the shelf during the day, watching my boys. Every night he heads back to the North Pole and reports to Santa. He spends his nights with Santa and his friends but comes back just before Little Man wakes up. He finds a new spot in our house and makes Little Man find him.
He started out on the TV shelf. The next day he was in the play room, then the mantle, then a mirror in the hallway. Today he sits on the curtain rod staring at me from the living room window.
Little Man loves his “friend George”. He is helping with the behavior problems we were having in the past.
I wanted to do this last year with Little Man, but I did not think he would get it just yet, plus Little Miracle was just born, so we were a little busy.
George is an “Elf on the shelf”. You can buy your own here
Today is a rainy, yucky day here in Georgia. That makes a perfect day to spend in the kitchen.
The past few months I have been cooking as much as I can in one day and putting the food in the freezer so we don’t go out to eat as much as we used to. On the days I don’t feel like cooking or we are too busy, I just pull something out of the freezer and toss it in the oven.
This all stems back to the change in diet we started about 6 months ago. We got rid of all processed foods and stopped eating out as much as we were. I make almost everything my family eats from scratch now. Yes, it takes longer, but it tastes so much better and is so much better for you.
I get our eggs, milk, meat and cheese from a local farmer that is just a few miles up the road from me. Vegetables and fruits usually come from the farmers market or Whole Foods, making sure I only buy the local or regional ones.
Today I will be cooking 2 servings (when I say servings, I mean enough to feed 3 of us for dinner) of lasagna, 8 servings of chicken tortilla soup and a pizza for dinner tonight. Grass fed meats, freshly chopped tomatoes and onions, my house will smell wonderful.
I still have a meatloaf, a serving of salmon, 4 servings of tomato basil soup and a serving of chili in my freezer from last time I cooked like this. Needless to say, my freezer will be full! I need a bigger freezer!
Yesterday was supposed to be my cooking day, but we went to the zoo instead. I am glad the weather says I need to stay inside today so I can get it done!
I am off to the kitchen, as soon as my boys nap!
We took advantage of the $5 days at Zoo Atlanta today. They had one in October, but it was on Little Mans birthday and also the day our church had a massive event, so we could not go then. I haven't been to the zoo since I was a child and Stephen could not remember the last time he went.
We got there about 2:00 and the line wrapped around the building, up into the parking lot and all around the parking lot.
It was crazy!
But it moved quickly. Just under an hour and we were at the front gate. As we were waiting we saw a kid squatted down to tie his shoe. Then his parents joined him and before we realized what they had done, they were standing in front of us. Wow. Your really gonna teach your child its OK to cut in line? Not only that but you used him to cut you in line.
Once we got in the zoo the lines dissipated and we headed to see the animals. Little Man liked the elephants and the giraffes the best. The gorillas were my favorite because there was a tiny baby gorilla in with its mama.
The mama gorilla refused to turn around, but if you look really close, you can see the baby gorillas head.
We stayed at the zoo for a few hours then headed home with exhausted kids in tow!
Just incase you were wondering how my kiddos got their names that I call them on here. Here are the stories.
Little Man was once called LB. When I was pregnant with him, my mother in law would call and ask how “Little Bit” was doing. Then we found out he was a boy we joked that Little Bit has little bits. Once he was born, we had a billion nicknames for him. Little Man was the one that stuck.
Little Miracle has been Little Miracle since conception. I had a molar pregnancy and was originally not allowed to get pregnant for 6 months to a year. After my numbers went down quickly and I presented my doctor with the newest research, he gave me the ok to try again after 3 months. I had fallen in love with the idea of a 2007 baby and a 2009 baby and I did not think I would get my 2009 baby when we had the molar pregnancy. The day I was cleared to try again, I figured that if we got pregnant that month, we would have a December 2009 baby. I got pregnant the day. It was a miracle.
I have debated sharing their names here or coming up with new nicknames for them. It gets confusing for me talking about Little Man and Little Miracle.
Stephen and I finally got a date night. Last time we had one was May, and even then we didn't get out, just got away from the kids.
Last night we got a babysitter and took off. We went Christmas shopping for the boys, ate dinner, went Geocaching and then had a few drinks in a nearby town square.
It. Was. Awesome
A much needed night off.
We got home just before bedtime and ended up playing with the boys for well over an hour. Then we wrestled them to bed way past their bedtime.
It was very nice to have a kid free dinner and time to focus on just each other. We don't do it near enough.
Today is Veterans Day. I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who serves in the military, be it past, present or future.
Today is also my husbands 30th birthday.
Not being a gift person, we usually skip birthday gifts. Not this year. This year I decided to take Little Man to the Dollar Store to pick out whatever he wanted to give to Daddy.
I brought my mom along for back up.
We arrived at the store and Little Man was so excited. He knew he was getting Daddy a present. I told him he could pick out any 3 things. Whatever he wanted to give to Daddy.
He proceeded to walk down every aisle and touch everything. When he would pick up something I would ask him “do you want to get that for Daddy?”
“no” he would say and put it back in its little spot on the shelf.
“Pickles? Do you want to get pickles for Daddy?” “no”
“Elmo plates? Do you want to get Elmo plates for Daddy?” “no”
Glow sticks, sunglasses, Christmas lights, truck balloons, a toy gun, toothpaste, a soup spoon, a bath sponge, plastic forks, a wreath, socks, balls, padlocks, measuring tapes, candy bars, a hair brush.
This continued for what felt like an hour. Finally he decided on a flashlight. He dug thru every flashlight first trying to find one that worked. He would pick one up, try to turn it on, then put it back down when it would not turn on. No matter how many times I explained to him that they all need batteries. He finally decided on a black flashlight with a yellow ring on it.
Then he decided on a yellow spray bottle and a toilet bowl cleaner.
Then we picked out a card and a gift bag. The card Little Man picked out had a rainbow and flowers on it, that’s why he liked it. At least it was a birthday card.
This morning we bagged up his presents and Little Man excitedly brought Daddy his new treasures. Little Man was excited to show Daddy the presents picked out just for him.
Daddy loves his “bathroom cleaning kit”. He says he can put bleach in the spray bottle, and use the flashlight to see the dirt better while he cleans the bathroom. (Who is he kidding? We all know who actually cleans the bathrooms around here)
We have a date afternoon/night planned and we are both super ready for some time off together without the kids!
While I wish I could take credit for the Dollar Store idea, I first read about it
here.
I hate gifts. I hate shopping for gifts. I hate receiving gifts. Trying to find that perfect something for friends or family drives me crazy. Driving to a billion stores and fighting all the crowds just for a gift. Not worth it for me!
Needless to say, Christmas is not one of my favorite seasons because it seems to revolve around gift giving.
I decided last year, after searching endlessly for the perfect gifts for all my friends and spending way too much money that I was not going to do it that way again. I decided to give to my friends favorite charities.
I also want them to do the same for me.
Problem is, I have no clue who I want them to give too. I like many charities that are well known, but part of me wants to find a local one. One that gives back to the community that I live in.
Have you ever tried to Google local charities? Oh – I have. There are about 10 billion websites that list charities and what their tax IDs are and all the legal stuff about them, but these sites don’t tell you what the charity actually does. I want to know what I am supporting.
I would like to find a local one that does something for pregnant or new moms.
Anyone know of a good way to find this?
I woke up this morning feeling like crap. I would love a sick day. A day off. A day to just sleep and regain my strength.
But being a SAHM, my bosses need me, so off to “work” I go.
I am taking a “sick day” from NoBloPoMo though, so this is all you get today.
I have been trying to describe my Little Miracle for the past 11 months.
What have I come up with?
He is a sensitive soul.
He fussed non stop for the first 6 weeks of his life. First we blamed it on colic, then reflux. Then we said he was just fussy. Then we called him cranky. Now I see it is just his personality.
After those first frustrating 6 weeks, he slowly started to calm down. He would no longer scream all night. He started to actually look at things around him. Then he learned how to crawl, and that helped a little because he could actually get to the things that he wanted to see. At about 8 months old he was finally not fussing all night and day long. He is now 11 months old and still generally fussy. I avoid calling him high needs but I believe that is what he is.
He is a touch child. He NEEDS to be held, comforted, loved and stroked. If he is in his jumper and he sees you coming toward him, he gets a HUGE grin on his face, he knows he is about to be picked up. He will scream the entire way home in the car, but as soon as the car pulls into the garage and he hears the door shutting, he stops. He knows his touch is coming. He fusses when Daddy holds him and Mama walks into the room. He is addicted to nursing and would do it all day and all night if I let him.
He does not like loud noises or anyone crying. Little Man hurt his finger the other day while playing and came to me for "Mama kiss it" and then let out a hurt cry and wanted to be snuggled. Little Miracle looked at Little Man and got upset. He started screaming. He wanted to be comforted because he did not like his brother’s cry.
He is still co-sleeping with us. I thought we would do what we did with Little Man and move him to his own crib at 6 months old, but he needs more. He starts out in his crib, but ends up in our bed. I know he will eventually be in his own crib/bed sleeping all night, so I don’t mind him coming in with us for now. He just needs to be close to his Mama.
He is ok playing on the floor as long as Mama is in the same room. I don’t dare leave the play room to go to the restroom or, God forbid, do laundry. He will follow me all the way to the laundry room fussing at me the whole way.
So is a sensitive soul child a bad thing? Not really, just very trying.
I remember this time with Little Man. The "I want no one but Mama" phase. The phase when he screamd at the top of his head when Mama left him or when someone else tried to take him, or even looked like they were going to try to take him from his Mama.
Thing is, Little Man would fuss for about 20 seconds then would move onto a cookie or a toy and forget why he was crying until Mama came to pick him back up.
Little Miracle is once again opposite his older brother. He will scream the entire time. Not the half cry fuss that most babies do, oh no, he screams with huge alligator tears streaming down his face until Mama comes to rescue him.
The past few weeks at church have been the worst. We moved Little Man up to the preschool nursery on his birthday so this is the first time they are in different rooms at church. This is not helping at all. I drop Little Man off and he happily goes into his room to play and learn. Then I take Little Miracle to his room. I go in the nursery with him to sit for a minute to get him playing then I quietly sneak out. He will play for a minute then look around and realize Mama is not with him anymore. Screaming ensues. The kind of scream I can hear from the sanctuary over the worship music (which is a live band with drums and loud music).
I don't know what to do. I sit in the lobby of the church with Little Miracle. They at least pump the sermon into the lobby so I don't miss it. He will crawl around the lobby floor as long as Mama is right there. I don't want to move Little Man back down to the nursery but I don't want Little Miracle screaming the entire time I am gone.
I know I have to keep dropping him off and that is the only way that he will learn that Mama does come back. Anyone else have any other advice on how to get thru this phase?
I am up before 6 in the morning and will be alone for the better part of the day. I feel like a single mom. A single, stay at home mom. Except I am not.
Stephens’s job is going to destroy us if this keeps up.
Where do I start?
It used to be a great job. He went to the office around 9 and would come home anywhere between 3 and 6. He was "on call" all day, but had plenty of time to spend with me and the boys. The only weekends he worked were drill weekends. He enjoyed his job and was generally happy in it.
Now? He goes in before 8 a.m. and does not get off till 8 p.m. He is being “volun-told” to work every weekend. His bosses have told him this will continue. They are trying to get people to quit and it is working. I want him to find a new job but it will be hard to find one in this economy paying what he makes now.
He will be gone all day today. I am beginning to resent him for as much as he works. He is working more than he is seeing his family, and in the military “family comes first”.
Problem is they are not giving him any time to spend with his family. He works almost 80 hours a week. Sunday is his only day off and that day is spent on his school work. He is going to school for his masters right now on top of this ridiculous work schedule.
I don’t think I am cut out to be a military wife. I would like my husband home for at least part of the day. I know I am lucky that he is not deployed, but at this point I think that would be easier.
Little Miracle has 2 teeth! He was not to be outdone by his older brother who got his two bottom teeth at 9 months old. Little Miracles first one (bottom left) broke thru the night before he turned 10 months. A few weeks later he got his top right tooth. Weird kid. I don’t feel any more coming in, so for now, he will stay the lopsided kid.
He is getting close to walking. I am wondering if he will share the same day for first steps that Little Man did. Little Man took his first steps on December 3rd at almost 14 months. Little Miracle has always been ahead of his brother in everything so he could possibly take his first steps on December 3rd, at almost 12 months.
I don’t want to believe he is almost one!
You know the one. You see her in the store with her hair in a ponytail, wearing wrinkled blue jeans and her husbands t-shirt that probably has baby spit up on it. She has her hands full with a smaller child, her purse, eggs, a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. She is also holding onto the hand of her screaming toddler while he wails about on the floor because he wanted the white bread not the brown bread. The toddler is screaming, the baby is crying, and the mother is on the verge of tears.
You feel sorry for her.
I used to feel sorry for her too.
Then I became that mother.
Little Man is testing my every being. Just tonight we went to the mall to play and have a good time since we had a great (behavior wise) day at the house. We got him dinner, got mama coffee, then rode the train and played in the toddler play area. Then we went to see the pets in the pet store downstairs.
Then all hell broke loose.
See, the pet store is right next to some annoying kid ride type things. You know the ones you put 2 quarters in and your kid holds on for dear life while the thing moves up and down and plays annoying music for about 30 seconds? Little Man wanted to play on them. I usually let him pretend play on them; I don’t actually put money in them.
But tonight we were busy. We were headed out to go pick up Stephen from work. Mama was over tired to begin with, and fighting off a migraine.
I had to literally pry Little Man from the dinosaur and carry him (and Little Miracle, my purse and Little Mans dinner that he never ate) about 20 feet away from the toys so he would walk. Then he threw himself to the ground and started hitting himself. I have no clue why he hits himself when he’s angry; we are not a spanking family. I had to squat down and talk to him for a few minutes all while people were angrily stepping around me because we were blocking the walkway.
This is not the first time this has happened. He used to be the best behaved little boy. I know all parents think their kid is perfect, but he really was an angel in public. He sat thru dinner or quietly played with his toys. He would listen and come with mommy when I asked him to.
I know this is a phase. That he is testing me. I will not let him win.
So next time you see that mother in the store, offer her a friendly smile and know she is doing her best.
I am SO glad October is O.V.E.R! Halloween is my favorite holiday and I was really excited that this year it was going to be beautiful!
Saturday morning we went to a church festival in the morning. Bounce houses, pizza, games, prizes, hay rides, petting zoos. Little Mans heaven. And the leading cause of skipped naps.
We left that festival and drove around for an hour letting Little Miracle sleep in the car, and hoping Little Man would nap. No such luck.
At 3 pm we headed to a town near by for their Kids Fest. My church does a lot of volunteer work with this town so a lot of the booths were manned by my church peeps. It was way too crowded for a cranky (read no nap) toddler though so we did not stay long.
At 5 we went to our local mall for their trick or treating. We went last year but got no candy at all. We were super late last year, and it rained, so I think that is why. This year we made it a plan to get there right when it started. We did and Little Man got lots of candy! It started to get way crowded when we were headed out, and stores were getting lines for the candy, so we went ahead and left.
On the way home we drove around the neighborhood to see if the kids were out that night and they were not. I don’t understand the “Halloween falls on a Sunday, so lets trick or treat on Saturday instead” mentality. Some say it’s because it’s a school night, well, when it falls on a Tuesday, we trick or treat on a Tuesday, so why is Sunday any different? Some say it’s because Halloween is a satanic holiday and Sunday is the Lords day. Well, I don’t believe that Halloween is a satanic holiday. Yes, some people probably make it out to be one, but we do not.
Sunday night we went trick or treating. Little Man knew right what to do this time! The only problems we had was he kept trying to go into peoples houses. They would open the door, give him candy, and he would stand there staring inside. That and he tried to take the candy instead of having people place it into his bucket. Not a problem but we taught him to hold his bucket up instead. We went around our neighborhood for almost 2 hours. It seemed that about half the houses were doing trick or treating. He got 2 full buckets of candy, so we headed home.
The candy has been put up in our pantry so he can’t have free range on it. He has all but forgotten about it for now.
Halloween costumes are back in the closet. Until next year!
Bananas.
Who would have thought a kid can be allergic to bananas? Or intolerant to bananas?
Little Man had some major tummy problems starting in late August. He had almost constant diarrhea. He had just potty trained but was back in pull ups because of this. Even with the pull ups we had to change sheets and take baths in the middle of the night a few times. It was that bad.
I asked the pediatrician about it when I had Little Miracles 9 month appointment in September. At that time we thought it was a milk thing. At the advice of the pediatrician we stopped all dairy.
And it got better.
For a week or so.
We took Little Man back to the pediatrician in late September and this time he ran a slew of tests. He looked for parasites and for celiac, or gluten intolerance. All these came back normal, so he said it was most likely what they call “toddlers diarrhea” which is caused by too much juice and he will likely be over it soon.
Well, we don’t drink juice here, so mama knew better.
For the next few weeks he had spells of this. Off and on. One day he would be fine, the next he would be a mess. Then he was ok for a week.
We took Little Man back to the pediatrician in early October for his 3 year well check and I mentioned he was still having diarrhea. The pediatrician offered to send him to a G.I. specialist if I was that concerned. Since it was off and on and Little Man seemed to be fine otherwise, I said I was not that concerned.
I had a feeling it was something he was eating.
A short time after his 3 year appointment I gave Little Man some eggs for breakfast. He had a banana as a snack. That afternoon he was sick again. I knew it was either eggs or bananas because he had not had either for a week or so and was fine before that.
So the next day, I gave him a banana at breakfast. And guess what, he got sick again. A few days later, I gave him strawberry banana yogurt (not on purpose, I did not realize it was that flavor) and he was sick again shortly after that. After almost 3 months we had an answer!
How do you tell a kid who LOVES bananas that he can’t have them? Anyone else have this problem?
Now we are a banana free house.
Ok, I'm jumping in. NaBloPoMo, also known as National Blog Posting Month. One post, every day, for a month. Let's see if I can do it!
So apparently I have done something that pissed off the majority of my group of mommy friends. Or someone in it. I don’t know which.
I can tell when I am getting the cold shoulder from the entire group. When I am not invited to things they do as a group anymore. I won’t say it doesn’t bother me, it does, but I wish we could all be adults and talk about things instead. If I did something then I would like to know what, so I can either defend myself or apologize about it and move on. I hate conflict because I am a people pleaser by nature. I try to make sure everyone is happy and there is peace. I don’t like it when someone is mad at me and I have no clue why.
I am by no means perfect myself. I am trying to work on being a better mother to my kids, trying to take them out more and play with them more. I am working on being a better wife. Trying to be more patient with my husband’s job demands. Trying to put my family first and myself last. Trying to work on my anger because I get too upset over the small things. Being an adult is no fun at all.
I have gotten much busier too, which may contribute to it. I am making hair bows now, and my business is really starting to take off. A house and two kids to juggle keep me very busy. Daddy is working 8-8 every day but Sunday and is also in school pursuing his masters, so I am pretty much doing it on my own.
Maybe I did not piss anyone off. Maybe it is just all in my head. Wish I knew.
Mama got a night off, and it was WONDERFUL
Friday night I had a little retail therapy (actually shopping for me for once!!) and some chocolate and alcohol with a good friend. It put me in a much better mood! It was so nice to get out and shop without having to chase a toddler up and down the aisles or having to hush my fussy baby.
I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but every mom needs a day off every now and then!
Yes, I said day. I took part of a night.
But, my break continued on Sunday. After church we went and got Little Mans hair cut, then headed home so the kids could nap. Mama decided that was a good time to complete my break.
I went and got my hair cut and eyebrows done. When I was in the nail salon I decided to go ahead and get my nails done too! Why not? Then I went and cleaned out my car, alone. It was very nice.
It is AMAZING how much a break helps. I came home after my night off in a wonderful mood, and was still in that mood on Saturday morning when my husband went off to work.
On another note, I am debating taking part in National Blog Post Month which is this month. I just don't know if I have enough to say to make a post once a day for a month! I guess I will make a decision soon!!
October 15th was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. On that day, I heard about a website from a friend where women were sharing their stories of loss along with a picture of their face. It's called "Faces Of Loss, Faces Of Hope". I went to the site and submitted my story. It was published today. It is from a prior blog post , but I did add some more details on it. I love that this site is trying to give support to women going thru something that most women will not talk about. Miscarriage is very common, yet very taboo.
Lisa
Molar Pregnancy
December 10, 2008
Acworth, GA
I always wanted my children close in age. 2 years apart at the most. I was so excited when I got pregnant and found out they were going to be 21 months apart. PERFECT!! Everything was going well, I had early blood work (around 5 weeks) because I was spotting. I had low progesterone with my son so I was started on progesterone just as a precaution. My hCG was doubling like it should so I was reassured that the spotting was normal.
I had my first official OBGYN appointment at 8 weeks, 6 days. I was excited for the ultrasound. To see that little heartbeat. When we got to the office they took us back to the ultrasound room. It was the probe ultrasound, which is vaginally. As soon as the tech put the probe in, I knew something was wrong. I could see nothing. No sack, no baby, nothing. Just white. Like a snowstorm. That's when the tech started asking questions. Were my periods regular? Had I had any bleeding. She then told me what I knew already, that there was no baby.
I was sent back to the waiting room to wait for my doctor to come talk to me. My doctor was in a large practice of maybe 20 doctors that saw everything from pregnancies, to elderly patients, to general sickness. The waiting room I was put into was the one for the ultrasounds. I could not stop crying, and I think they realized that I was sitting in the waiting room with pregnant women, so they took me back to an actual room to wait on my doctor.
What seems like hours passed, even though I am sure it was only a few minutes? My midwife walked into the room and said that my doctor was still at the hospital so she was going to talk to me. She explained to me that I had a molar pregnancy. If you don't know what that is, welcome, I had no clue until this day. Apparently a complete (you can have a partial one too, I had a complete) molar pregnancy is when an "empty" egg is fertilized. The cells/tissue that forms the placenta then grows out of control, taking over everything inside your uterus. A baby never forms in a complete mole. She said that she had to look it up in her books before coming to talk to me because it was so rare.
After she explained to me what was going on, she told me that they would do a chest x-ray because the cells are pre-cancerous, and can travel in your body, growing elsewhere. She explained that I would have to go thru many months of blood work after the surgery to make sure that the molar is not growing back. She told me that I should not get pregnant for 6 months to a year after the molar pregnancy. She then asked me if I wanted to schedule my D&C for the following Friday (this all happened on a Wednesday) because my doctor would be working then. I told her it did not matter to me who preformed the surgery that I wanted it done ASAP since this could cause cancer if left inside much longer. I was sent straight from my doctor’s office to the hospital for surgery.
The waiting for the surgery was the worst part. I remember sitting in the waiting room for hours with my toddler. I remember thinking it was all a dream that I would wake up at any second. I remember just wanting to run out of the hospital. I remember talking to the anesthesiologist and the nurses asking questions. I remember wondering why my husband was gone for so long when he went down to meet a friend to take our toddler. I remember thinking I was going to be alone when they took me back. I remember kissing my husband good bye just before they took me back. I remember being wheeled back on the hospital bed for surgery. The long hallways, the double doors to the operating room, the bright lights of the room. That is the last thing I remember, the operating room. I was put under for the actual procedure so I do not remember any part of it. I remember waking up and shaking so hard. I remember crying.
I was released from the hospital shortly after the surgery and went home to snuggle with my son and husband. I went through 3 months of weekly blood work to ensure that the molar pregnancy was not returning and then I was given the approval from my doctor to try to conceive again. My body healed quickly, but my spirit took much longer to heal.
Women are emotional creatures. As soon as the stick turned pink I had dreams for this child. When I was first told it was never a baby I was appalled. I was pregnant, and to me that meant a baby. Looking back almost 2 years later I am comforted in the fact that it was never truly a baby. It makes the loss a little bit easier to deal with.
See my story on their site here. Do you have a story to share also? Your story may be what another woman who is going thru the same thing needs to see.
I am still in my funk. I really hope to get out of it soon. My house is starting to look like a war zone. Laundry spewed from the dryer, kids toys scattered about on the floor. But I have somewhat of an excuse.
Wednesday night Little Man woke us up screaming that his ears hurt. Nice. He proceeded to wake us up every 45-60 minutes even after the maximum dose of Tylenol was given. Poor thing was S-I-C-K. He never gets sick! He has had 2 ear infections and 2 cases of strep in his 3 years of life, which is pretty good for a toddler these days!
I carried him to the pediatrician on Thursday morning and he has bilateral ear infections. I went ahead and got Little Miracle checked out too since we were there, and he just has a cold. Top that off with my cold, and we are in hell over here.
Thursday was spent sleeping and cuddling with my Little Man and today I got some laundry done, but no where near as much as I needed to. I just don't have the energy.
I'm complaining. Yes, I know.
I'm in a funk. With my life, my marriage, my house, my kids. Mama needs a day off.
I think it has to do with the season change. Fall brings winter, and I HATE winter. Is it too early for the winder blues?
Fall is such a busy time. I love to go to pumpkin patches, fall festivals, you know, do family stuff on the weekends in the fall. We haven’t been able to do much because my husbands work is sucking every free weekend away from him. I am thankful he has a job, but this one is starting to get the best of me. His phone is always ringing. People call him at 9 pm on Sunday night to ask him questions.
Our house needs so much work. When we moved in a little over a year ago we knew what we wanted to do to it. We had grand plans. Re-do the kitchen, paint the outside of the house, fix the banister… then Little Miracle was born, and we got settled in. We have done a few things to the house, but I want to do so much more. I have made my house a home, but I want to keep working on things!
We are stuck in a rut in our marriage. We fight about the small things and it is really starting to get to me. When Stephen gets home from work he is tired and just wants to relax but I want to get some things done. I need him to watch the kids so I can do things that are hard to do when you have a toddler and a screaming infant. I have to juggle the house and kids all day. It is part of being a SAHM. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but we need some US time . Us time is impossible because Little Miracle is the world’s fussiest baby so I feel bad for babysitters. He will scream the entire time we (read, me) are gone and I can not let that happen. How do parents of fussy babies get us time? Between Stephens work and school, the kids and the house stuff, we don’t get any time to just go out and be us anymore.
Little Man is getting to the “terrible” threes. He is not listening anymore. He has started fighting me on every little thing. I know this is part of this age, but I miss my sweet Little Man that was SO well behaved. I am sticking to my guns and not letting him get away with many things. I am hoping he outgrows this stage quickly!
Little Miracle is still up several times at night. He wakes up screaming and will hardly ever calm down unless he gets to nurse. Little Man didn’t sleep thru the night until 14 months but he would at least let daddy rock him back to sleep. He loves his mama, which is fine by me, but it is mentally draining to have a baby scream for you all day and night and not go to anyone else.
We all have the snots right now too. The change of season hates me and my sinuses and it looks like my kids have that too. We all can not breathe out of our noses and the kids have runny, icky noses too.
I love my kids and my husband, please don't get me wrong on this. I am just in a rut. I know it will get better but I want to hibernate until spring.
I have seen many bloggers do this, so I decided to do the same today. My words are not wanting to come tonight, I am still in disbelief that my first born is about to be 3 years old.
Dear Little Man,
You are mere hours from turning 3 years old, and Mama can not believe it. It seems like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with you. I was so happy! You were an easy pregnancy and a lot of work to deliver.
You are the light of my life. When you were born, I had no clue what I was doing. I was scared to bring you home but you were a very easy going baby, and you are still pretty easy going. You never wanted to sleep. Always wanted to see what was gong on in your world. You were a little flirt from the day you learned how to smile, and you still are. Your bright blue eyes got you the most compliments when you were a baby, and they still do today. You were born with lots of hair and Mama has done a good job keeping Daddy away from your locks. If it was up to Daddy, your hair would be short.
You seemed to do things on your own time as a baby. You were the last of your friends to sit up, the last of your peers to crawl. You never rocked on your hands and knees to learn to crawl. You really only crawled for a few weeks before you were done with it. You never really took a few steps then fell, your first time walking was across a room and you never looked back. You wait to do something when you know you can do it. You have so much confidence in yourself.
You have always been a sweetheart. Always been a Mamas boy. And Mama would not have it any other way. You were nursed and rocked to sleep every night. You still ask to be rocked. Mama rocked you tonight and sung “Happy Birthday” to you three times. As soon as you learned to say please and thank-you, you used it almost constantly. You have always loved music and still love to dance. You are wicked smart and love to learn. I can not wait to start homeschooling you. You love to play outside and love your Frisbee. You love to swim.
I am very proud of the little man you are becoming. I love having conversations with you. The things you say always make me laugh. I love the way you rub your eyes when you are tired. I love the way you crawl up into my bed in the morning and kiss me a million times to wake me up. I love everything about you. I can not wait to see what the next year has to offer. I can not wait to see the man you grow up to be, but I want to cherish your every minute right now.
I love you.
Mama
Do you like to be outdoors?
Do you like to use technology?
Would you like to find hidden boxes?
Then you would LOVE our new hobby!!
We have been introduced to geocaching. It "is a high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers equipped with GPS devices. The basic idea is to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online. Geocaching is enjoyed by people from all age groups, with a strong sense of community and support for the environment."
How did we get into this, you ask?
Well, I was watching Dinosaur Train on PBS with Little Man one morning, and they directed me to their website. I went to the site for something else, and noticed something about Geocaching on the site. Having heard a little about geocaching before, I clicked on the link and noticed there was a box located at a park we go to all the time.
A few weeks passed before we got to the park. When we got there I had completely forgotten about geocaching. We were walking on the trail around the park when I remembered about the box. Having a smart phone comes in handy sometimes! I pulled up the website, then the coordinates. I punched them into my GPS application on my phone, and we went straight to the box area. After a little hunting in the wrong direction, I turned around and spotted it!
Do you see it?
I was so excited! I brought the box out of the tree line so Stephen and Little Man could open it with me. When we opened it, there was a paper explaining what it was in case you found it on accident. There was a log book to sign, and several small trinkets.
We signed the log and let Little Man pick out a trinket.
He took the puzzle cube and we left a green light that was on my key chain. We were hooked!! I got home and logged our find online and started looking for more in our area.
In the next few days we found many more. Some are hidden out in the open, some are cleverly hidden. We found one hanging in a tree, one in a hole in a tree, several on the ground, one way up on top of a hill.
They are hidden in all different types of containers. One was a travel soap container, one was an Altoids tin, several were like Tupperware containers, and several were ammo boxes.
They all contain different things. Some have just a log, some have logs and trinkets. Some contain travel bugs which are small trackable things. I had a travel bug in my hand that came from the Netherlands, and one that came from Washington state. You pick them up, log that you have it, then see where it is headed. You then find a cache closer to its final destination, and place it in that cache for someone else to help it on its way. One cache we found yesterday had a picture album in it for you to put your picture in it when you found it.
So far, we have found 12 (there are over 1.2 million hidden). It is quickly becoming a favorite hobby.
Check it out at geocaching.com
