Monday, October 25, 2010

Is It Too Early For The Winter Blues?

I'm in a funk. With my life, my marriage, my house, my kids. Mama needs a day off.

I think it has to do with the season change. Fall brings winter, and I HATE winter. Is it too early for the winder blues?

Fall is such a busy time. I love to go to pumpkin patches, fall festivals, you know, do family stuff on the weekends in the fall. We haven’t been able to do much because my husbands work is sucking every free weekend away from him. I am thankful he has a job, but this one is starting to get the best of me. His phone is always ringing. People call him at 9 pm on Sunday night to ask him questions.

Our house needs so much work. When we moved in a little over a year ago we knew what we wanted to do to it. We had grand plans. Re-do the kitchen, paint the outside of the house, fix the banister… then Little Miracle was born, and we got settled in. We have done a few things to the house, but I want to do so much more. I have made my house a home, but I want to keep working on things!

We are stuck in a rut in our marriage. We fight about the small things and it is really starting to get to me. When Stephen gets home from work he is tired and just wants to relax but I want to get some things done. I need him to watch the kids so I can do things that are hard to do when you have a toddler and a screaming infant. I have to juggle the house and kids all day. It is part of being a SAHM. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but we need some US time . Us time is impossible because Little Miracle is the world’s fussiest baby so I feel bad for babysitters. He will scream the entire time we (read, me) are gone and I can not let that happen. How do parents of fussy babies get us time? Between Stephens work and school, the kids and the house stuff, we don’t get any time to just go out and be us anymore.

Little Man is getting to the “terrible” threes. He is not listening anymore. He has started fighting me on every little thing. I know this is part of this age, but I miss my sweet Little Man that was SO well behaved. I am sticking to my guns and not letting him get away with many things. I am hoping he outgrows this stage quickly!

Little Miracle is still up several times at night. He wakes up screaming and will hardly ever calm down unless he gets to nurse. Little Man didn’t sleep thru the night until 14 months but he would at least let daddy rock him back to sleep. He loves his mama, which is fine by me, but it is mentally draining to have a baby scream for you all day and night and not go to anyone else.

We all have the snots right now too. The change of season hates me and my sinuses and it looks like my kids have that too. We all can not breathe out of our noses and the kids have runny, icky noses too.

I love my kids and my husband, please don't get me wrong on this. I am just in a rut. I know it will get better but I want to hibernate until spring.


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1 comment:

SouthernMama said...

Pray, pray, pray. <3
I feel like Josh & I are just on the other side of one of those times where we just felt cranky with each other a lot, and it is hard. But this side is all the more precious, and we're stronger because of it. I definitely get overwhelmed with life sometimes: homeschooling, a preschooler and a needy-wants-only-Mommy baby. I try so hard to appreciate these wonderful blessings that God has given me, but I fail all too often.
Praying things get better for you soon!