Goodbye 2009

*typing while nursing a baby, so pardon any typos*

I can't believe 2009 is almost over. It was one hell of a year.

In January we were still dealing with the molar pregnancy.

In February, we found out that Stephen's job was gone in south Georgia, and that we would be moving to Atlanta again.

In March we were cleared from the molar pregnancy, and given the go ahead to try again for a baby. We conceived Little Miracle that night, and found out about him a few weeks later.

We moved in April, and put in the offer on our house in the beginning of May.

In June we had our NT scan and found out about the possibility that Little Miracle may have had Down Syndrome. When my blood work came back with a high possibility that he did have it, I got worried. We also found out that Little Miracle was a boy in June.

July brought the health ultrasound for Little Miracle that told us he was most likely healthy.

In August I decided to have a natural water birth, and we got into the car accident.

September FINALLY brought us our house closing!

October was Halloween and moving into the house. We also moved Little Man to his big boy bed, and into his own room.

November was Thanksgiving, organizing the house and getting ready for Little Miracle.

December. Wow. What can I say? Little Miracle decided to be born at home, and since then we have been trying to adjust to life as parents of two!

What a year! I am glad it is almost over. We have no "big plans" for tonight. Being parents of a newborn, it's too hard to get out. Plus, I need my sleep!

Look for my goals and plans for 2010 in a new post!

Things I love

I love the way Little Man says "nnoo" when he is trying to do a puzzle and puts the piece in the wrong spot. He puts the pieces in the wrong place some times just to get me to say "no" in a funny voice.

I love the way Little Man says "thank you" after I give him ANYTHING. His "thank you" sounds like "da do" and its so freaking cute.

I love the way my house looks mid afternoon. Little Man has scattered his toys all over the living room and his play room. Yes, its a mess, but it means my oldest has had a fun morning playing with all his toys.

I love how I have had to stop typing this four times now to give Little Man a "high five" for completing his puzzle.

I love the way Little Miracle nuzzles up on my chest and sleeps.

I love the way Little Miracle bobs around my neck, chest, arms, etc.. when he wants to nurse.

I love the way Little Miracle looks up at me and studies my face while nursing.

I love the way the fireplace looks when it is on. And how Little Man comes downstairs every morning and points to it and says "light" and blows to turn it on. (He "blows" it off and on... ya know... turn off the gas as he blows and he "blew out the fire")

I love my girlfriends. They are the best ones a girl could have. Some of them blog too. Check out their blogs JaMonkey and RenderMeMamma

I love that my husband has an awesome job that allows me to stay home and enjoy my kids.

I could go on, but Little Miracle is back to fussing. I love the way I can nurse him to calm him down!

Dear Mr. Fussy Pants

Dear Mr. Fussy Pants,

Please stop fussing so much. You slept so well in the hospital, but the day we brought you home, you started screaming. Its been 3 weeks now and you are still screaming.

Mamma has cut out milk and caffeine in hopes that it was something she was eating that was making you scream. It has not helped as you continue to scream. Mamma and Daddy are at their wits end trying to figure out what is wrong and why you fuss so much. You usually have one long period of fussiness, but you are generally fussy all day. It would be better if you would not start said "long fussing period" at 8 pm. If you start, at say noon, then you would be calmed down by ... say 4 pm, and we could all sleep. But since you start about 8 pm, you are still fussing at midnight.

Daddy is going out of town next week, and we need you to sleep better so Mamma does not go insane. Daddy will be gone for two weeks, and if Mamma gets no sleep in thoes two weeks, she will be a very cranky lady. Little Man does not like a cranky Mamma, and you don't either. Thankfully your brother sleeps thru your screaming, or he would be a cranky mess too.

Thanks Little Miracle for listening. Now can we go back to bed?

Merry Christmas

I used to think Halloween was my favorite holiday. I think Christmas is gaining in on it.

We went out last night to our church's Christmas Eve celebration. They do it in the town square! There was hot coco, Santa, a band and even snow! Yes... SNOW in Georgia... Ok, so it was soap bubble type snow, but hey, it looked real!

After we got home, we put Little Man in bed, wrapped presents and set them under the tree. We tried to stay awake to see Santa come, but just could not.

This morning, Little Man woke up at his usual time. We got him up, and left Little Miracle to sleep. As soon as Little Man saw all the presents under the tree, his eyes sparkled. He was SO excited!

He tore thru all his presents and spent the morning playing with his new toys.

My dad came over in the morning also to see Little Miracle and the new house.

We spent the afternoon laying around being lazy. I got a short nap, which was nice!

Little Miracle is doing good. He is a very fussy baby, but I think we are figuring him out. I think he is sensitive to either milk or caffeine, so for now, I have cut both out of my diet. Makes it hard for a chocolate lover like me!

It is very magical to have a newborn at this time of year. To love and snuggle with a newborn at Christmas is my favorite now!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Me?!? Wonder Woman?! ... Nah.

Every time someone hears about the birth of Little Miracle, they are in shock.

“You had him at home?”

"In your bathtub?"

“Who delivered him?”

“You had no medical people there??”

“How did you do it??”

Then comes the “WOW. You are Wonder Woman!”



I don’t consider myself Wonder Woman! I cry with migraines, complain with hangnails, and grit my teeth with cramps. The same woman who birthed her baby in the tub at home with no medical people there is the same one who cringes when her baby latches to nurse, and the same woman who cries when her stitches hurt. Would Wonder Woman do that?

I think anyone 9 months pregnant, with a baby crowning, would find themselves doing the same thing. He was coming! He knew what he was doing, all I had to do was let him come. If I could have held him in, and made it to the hospital to birth him, I would have! It makes me think about woman long before my time that always had them at home, with no help other than other women, other mothers. They did not have the choice to have drugs, hospitals, doctors, or even paramedics on the way.

I did what I had to do. And that really was not much. I only pushed 4 times. He did all the work. All I did was catch him. It still amazes me that between him and my body they knew what to do.

I took some classes during pregnancy that focused on natural labor and delivery, since I was planning on doing it naturally anyway. I think these classes helped me realize your body is amazing, and can do it!

Little Miracle is a great baby. He is a champion nurser, and an awesome sleeper. I am sure those two go hand in hand. He was born perfectly healthy. I did have group B strep in my urine in early pregnancy, and at 36 weeks, so we had to stay at the hospital for 48 hours so they could keep a close eye on him. Obviously, I did not have time to get antibiotics before delivery! All of his blood work came back fine, so we were released right at 48 hours.

Would I do it again at home?

No. Not planned anyway.

Would I do it again naturally?

Yes.

That is a feeling I would love to have again! I am still on top of the world! I am still walking around with my head held high, a huge smile on my face. It is very empowering to let your body do its job getting the baby out! Your body grew the baby with very little help from you, so it knows what it is doing. Labor and delivery is not a medical thing. It’s a natural thing.

So Wonder Woman? Not me!

You Know What They Say About "Best Laid Plans"?

You know they say "best laid plans always fail"?

I had a "best laid plan" for the birth of Little Miracle. I hired a doula, switched to a midwife that does water birth, had taken all the classes, read all the books, and was ready for my HOSPITAL water birth with my doula and midwife there.

I didn't get it.

12/7/09

I cleaned the house tonight when Stephen took Little Man to the gym. I was having a few contractions, but I was having them all week. They would come and go, nothing consistent. After I cleaned, I sat on the birth ball for a while. Bouncing. Swaying. Doing anything I could do to get the contractions to come back and stay consistent. Nothing was happening, so I decided to give up and go to bed. I had seen my midwife that morning, and I was 2-3 cms, but she stretched me to 3-4. She said she would "see ya tonight" but I did not put faith into it.

I went to bed at 9:30. I say went to bed, but I just laid there and tossed and turned. I was uncomfortable. I was 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I wanted to get the show on the road! Little did I know the show was on its way, coming down the fast lane.

I was just about to drift off to sleep around 11:15 to 11:30 when I felt a contraction. Hum, I usually don't have them when laying down. And this one was getting painful. I got up and went to the bathroom. I had another fun sign of labor approaching in the bathroom, so i knew something was happening. I texted my girlfriends that I think something was up. This was 11:42 pm.

I filled my tub and crawled in hoping to labor at home for a while. I told my husband to get the computer and to start timing the contractions. By midnight the contractions were 2 minutes apart lasting about 2 minutes each. Hum. Maybe time to call some people!

12/8/09

Stephen called my mom (to come and watch Little Man) and our doula and midwife. Looking at my phone, he called my mom at 12:13, the midwife at 12:19 and my doula at 12:21. (My water broke when Stephen was on the phone with our doula) My mom was on her way, my midwife said get to the hospital. The contractions were coming so fast, and starting out SO hard, I just knew there was NO way I could do this naturally. I begged Stephen to get me to the hospital and to get me an epidural!

I suddenly felt the urge to push. I never felt this with Little Man since I was so drugged, and I did not believe that I was feeling it. It was too fast. There is no way I was fully dilated!

I pushed once and put my hands down there. I felt his head bulging me outward so I told Stephen to call 911. He didn't believe me when I told him I NEEDED to push. He was telling me to just hold on and we would get to the car, and to the hospital. He did not believe that the baby was coming either.

I pushed again and felt his head crowning. At this point Stephen was on the phone with 911. I don't know when he realized that I was not kidding, and called 911. He told them "my wife's in labor".

I pushed again and his head came out. I was in SHOCK. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I was having him in my tub at home! All these thoughts came to mind. I am at HOME, in my tub, with NO MEDICAL PEOPLE PRESENT. What if he gets stuck? What if the cord is wrapped around his neck? What if I can't get him out?

I gained my composure, and knew that I could do this. I knew what to do. Almost like instinct.

The next contraction came and I pushed out his body. I had my hands down there to catch him and pull him up to my chest. I rubbed his head and Stephen patted his back. Stephen was still on the phone with 911. He told them that the baby was born! I asked Stephen what time it was. I wanted to know the exact time I had him. It was 12:30 am.

He let out the tiniest little cry. I knew he was ok. I pulled him off my chest to check for his cord. It was around his shoulder, but not his neck. I untangled him, and put him back between my breasts and covered him with a towel that was on the side of the tub.

Stephen went downstairs to let my mom in (who had been trying to knock for a few minutes, and even called, but we never heard her) and wait for the ambulance.

My mom came upstairs and saw him. The look on her face was priceless. I don't think she believe that I just delivered a baby in the tub at home either!

The paramedics got there a few minutes later. I still had Little Miracle on my chest and covered so we stayed that way for a few minutes to try to wait for the placenta. The paramedics were very nice and were doing things on my time. After a few minutes they suggested that we go ahead and cut the cord so they could check on the baby. I agreed and they clamped it. They went to cut it (with a razor blade they had!) I stopped them, and asked if Stephen could cut it. They all looked at each other (there was about 4-5 men in my bathroom... all of them with a look of disbelief and shock on their face... I don't think any of them had ever seen a call like this before, either that, or they were just happy they did not have to deliver a baby) and someone finally said "Well I don't see why not" and handed Stephen the razor blade.

The one female that was there with the paramedics took Little Miracle and wrapped him up in a foil blanket. She took him to the master bedroom. We (the men and I)waited about 10 minutes for the placenta and it was not coming, so they loaded Little Miracle and I up into the ambulance to head to the hospital. I told them which one I wanted to go to, and away we went.

I held Little Miracle on my chest skin to skin the whole ride down. I was having contractions still, but they were no where near as strong as the ones I had just had. We finally made it to the hospital, and my doula showed up, then Stephen (he had to follow in our car) then my midwife.

The placenta took what felt like forever, but it was nice to have my doula there to help me thru the contractions. Once it came I felt SO much better! My midwife had to sew me up because he came so fast that I tore. I did not feel it when it happened, because his head numbed me on the way out.

The female paramedic was finishing up her paperwork and talking to me. She said that the initial call she got was "woman in labor". Then she said not even 30 seconds later, dispatch said "woman delivered". She said she had to question dispatch "Woman delivering, or delivered?" because she did not believe it either!

By the time my midwife was done sewing up my nether regions, it was all starting to sink in. I had a baby! At home! In my bathtub! With no one there! In less than an hour! Now that's a feeling! Talk about on top of the world. I still want to stand on top of the roof and shout! I DID IT! Granted, not how I had planned AT ALL, but either way, I did it!

He was born at 12:30 on the nose. 7 lbs 6.9 ozs 19 inches. Perfectly healthy!

Why Yes, I AM Still Pregnant.

I never made it past 39 weeks with Little Man. I see now how blessed I was to have him "early".

I will be 40 weeks tomorrow, and I am officially ignoring my phone. I have had people calling constantly. I know they mean well. They start the conversation with "how are you feeling?" and then proceed to say "your still pregnant?" or "when are you gonna have that baby?". It is very annoying. I don't know when he is coming, if I knew that then I would play the lottery too. I want him here more than you do!

He is not really late until 42 weeks, so I know I still have a while until my midwife would take medical interventions. I pray every day he comes soon. At my last appointment, my midwife said I was 2-3 cms, 85% effaced, and he is at -1 station, so he should be here SOON. But only he knows the day he is coming.

So, trust me, you will know when he comes! My blog may be the last place to know, since I am not very good at getting over here and posting. But if you follow me on Facebook or anywhere else, you will know!

Here is one last belly picture... I think this was 39.3 weeks.